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September 6, 2011

16 Signs You've Been Around MMA Far Too Long

With the busy summer months coming to a close and other writing projects wrapping up, I'd like to make more of a contribution to Since the last fight of my career is coming up later this fall, I wanted to reflect on my five years of experience in the MMA world. In an effort to save others from over staying their welcome in the fight game, here are the top sixteen signs you've been around MMA for too long:

#16.) You've conceeded to telling people over the age of 70 that you're a boxer.

#15.) You’ve walked in on Kevin The Ref greasing his hair on more than one occasion.

#14.) You’ve told your friends and family you’re done fighting at least three times.

#13.) Even when non-fight people ask you how much you weigh, you tell them what you “walk” at and how far you can cut down to.

#12.) You can read an analyze your own EKG.

#11.) When you’re “with” your lady, you accidentally interrupt the fun with instinctual guard passes.

#10.) You still type in to get to

#9.) You know over three hundred people who are pretty convinced they’ll be a UFC champion someday.

#8.) Spare mouthpieces and cups are floating around in your car, luggage, dressers, etc.

#7.) You’ve had a daydream similar to, “If I rear naked choke this guy standing in front of me in line, how long would it take for the crowd to pull me off him?”

#6.) Your play list of potential entrance songs has exceeded one hundred.

#5.) There’s a “go to” spot on your body you can show people or let them touch when they ask if you’ve been injured usually resulting in their disgust.

#4.) You can “7 Degrees” yourself via fights to any UFC belt holder. Example:

Frankie Edgar -> Spencer Fisher -> Dan Lauzon -> Brendan Hoxie -> Mike Laliberte -> Mark Hoxie


Jon Jones -> Parker Porter -> Mark Hoxie

#3.) You’ve used rubber guard in a bar fight.

#2.) Your hands permanently smell like the inside of old training gloves.

#1.) You flip out when a guy in the UFC gets submitted with an arm in guillotine.

Feel free to leave a few signs of your own...

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